The Devil’s Hamburger!


Those devil horns looks suspiciously like cat ears...

Back in the early days of Kitchen Mischief, Matthew preached on the importance of keeping burgers simple — no stuffing, so spicing — just simple beef action. I hate to disagree with my fellow Mischief-maker, but I am all-about throwing some crazy stuff together in a burger patty and seeing what happens!

My favorite “gimmick burger” is this one — Spicy Chipotle Burgers with Guacamole. I get bored with a plain burger (unless we’re talking top-of-the-line beef, which is a splurge),  so adding a kick is right up my alley. Here’s how you do it.

First, grab some canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. This should be in the Mexican aisle. You won’t recognize the brand, but don’t worry about it. It’s about the same size as a can of Vienna Sausages, except much tastier and no pig-bits.

Here’s an important step: You must puree the contents into a paste. It’s very spicy, so use a blender or food processor. You only need a couple of teaspoons for the burgers, so at this point you have two choices.

Option 1:
Put the puree in a freezer-safe container and defrost every time you need a scoop. This is easier at first but a pain later. Plus, it’s pretty much guaranteed to stain whatever Tupperware you put it in.

Option 2: Dollop heaping teaspoons of puree onto a cookie sheet (wax paper or Silpat helps with sticking), then freeze, remove, and store in the freezer, like mini chipotle drops. This is obviously more work on the front end, but WAY easier for subsequent recipes that could use a little chipotle love, like black beans or marinades.

Now — on to the burgers! Here’s my suggestion: Just add this tasty hotness to your favorite burger recipe.  My go-to is an old Southern Living recipe that includes breadcrumbs and egg … I tweak by using ground sirloin. The rule of thumb is to use a teaspoon of puree for each half-pound of meat. It can get pretty spicy, so watch out! If you need some great tips for burger-making, check out Matthew’s post from back in the day.

Now, one more little trick. These burgers can be a bit tongue-toasting, so cool ‘em down a bit with a little guacamole. If you’re in a pinch, you can grab some Wholly Guacamole from the store, but it’s super-easy to whip some up.  Here’s my recipe. I keep it all green, but Matthew likes his with tomatoes. Sounds like it’s time for Kitchen Mischief Guacamole Deathmatch!

PS: Cluck & Chuck?
I made a little extra Mischief last night while preparing our spicy burgers. We had some ground turkey left over, so I decided to make one beef/turkey burger combo patty, just to see what would happen. I googled it first, but got no feedback. Way curious. I was kinda worried — would this fowl/cow mixture cause a rip in the space-time continuum, causing the universe to implode? Since you’re reading this, that obviously did not happen. When I brought the burgers in from the grill, David said, “What’s wrong with that one?” He was right — Miss Cluck & Chuck was a very odd shade of mauve. So I wrapped her in a nice tin foil jacket and sent her to hang out in the fridge … where she can hang out with my other Frankensteinian Kitchen Mischief misfits.

That’s all for today! If you can bear the heat, get out and grill up some burgers this weekend! Stay cool! 😉


6 Responses to “The Devil’s Hamburger!”

  1. Susie Says:

    Mmmm . . . love the idea of adding chilpotle to the meat, and freezing dollops to use later :). Great Tip! But curious minds want to know what the Cluck & Chuck burger tasted like. Do tell!

  2. David Says:

    Susie it’s still hangin’ out in our fridge where I’m pretty sure it will wait until I am stumbling home drunk and starving. It will be my “4th meal” and I can pretty much guarantee I’m going to love it. Sober however could be a completely different story. I’ll keep you posted.

  3. Matthew Says:

    I think this is a great idea! I’m not a hater of people that season burgers…just those people who think they HAVE too. Josh does both…so no taunting from me.

    So on to the gucamole challenge…bring it! Heck, we can gucamole wrestle for that matter. ***User just passed out***

  4. A Different Kind of Jam « Kitchen Mischief! Says:

    […] Kitchen Mischief! A Chronicle of Culinary Mishaps and Masterpieces « The Devil’s Hamburger! […]

  5. Maple Mischief « Kitchen Mischief! Says:

    […] and chipotle. While we’re on the subject of chipotles, if you have no idea where to acquire them, read this. Put onions and potatoes in a medium […]

  6. Single Plastic Hamburger Press Says:

    With my hamburger recipe, I include an individual broad sliced up,
    uncooked onion ring straight into the top of the burger
    – By hand this is a pain, however with a hamburger press it’s effortless.

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