This is How I Roll

Photos by Ray Hydrick

I really, REALLY wanted to make something luscious and fattening on this post, but I am really afraid that Josh may bust in my door and start throwing away food in my pantry like the NBC show “Losing it with Jillian”.  I would be in the fetal position while he threw away non-organic foods or my Baked Lays.  So I made something that is good for you and really easy to make – Thai Basil Rolls.

I had never made these so it was actually fun to do something different.  I did learn a few things though, let me share that with you:
* Rice Paper Wrappers – I could only find these at Whole Foods and/or World Market.  My favorite store, Publix, doesn’t roll that way.
* Carrots – I used the already cut matchstick carrots from Publix – if I had to cut carrots this small, my fingers would be cut to shreds.  I would blanch (bath in boiling, salted water for 1 minute and then dropped in ice water) them though – makes them softer and easier to fold. 
* Bean Threads – these are also called cellophane noodles.  These babies are slippery when wet.  I would use scissors to cut the amount you need for your roll.

Now, let’s get this recipe rollin’!

Thai Basil Rolls
1 package rice paper wrappers (spring roll)
1 package bean threads
1 carrot cut into thin strips
1 package bean sprouts
2 cups bibb lettuce, shredded (I used butter lettuce)
2 scallions, sliced
1 cup cilantro leaves
1/2 cup basil leaves, whole (I had Thai basil in the garden)
2 cups chicken, shredded (optional)

Looks Like sewage but taste good!

Basic Dipping Sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
3 tablespoons water
2 limes, juiced
2 tablespoons soy sauce (or fish sauce)
1 garlic clove, minced
1 Thai chili, sliced
To make the sauce – place all ingredients in a bowl and whisk.

To begin, organize your ingredients in order of how you would place it on the roll.  Following package directions, place a sheet of rice paper in a shallow dish of warm water for 10-15 seconds or until the sheet is soft and pliable. 

Goes in as paper, comes out feeling like a baby ear

Place on a damp tea towel.  Place a small amount of each ingredient (except the basil) on one side of the sheet.  But place 3 leaves of basil on the opposite end (you’ll see why). 

This is how I roll!

Begin by slowly rolling the sheet and folding in the sides to encase the ingredients. 

Place the rolls seam side down on a damp towel or plate with a spritz of cooking spray.  (These babies will stick to anything!) With a sharp, wet knife, slice the roll into halves.  Serve with dipping sauce. 

We made more than just two rolls but they didn't fit on the plate

Options:
#1 – I added sriracha and garlic chili paste to the dipping sauce rather than Thai chilis and reduced the lime juice to one lime.  Added a richer kick.  Also, I used a store-bought sweet and sour sauce for something different.
 #2 – I added chicken to the rolls for the non-vegetarian version. 

Trio of Sauces

Wanna make a meal out of it?
Ray and I made a meal out of these tasty rolls, so I stir-fried some snow peas in a wok with teaspoon of olive oil and a 1/2 teaspoon of sesame oil.  Added some sesame seeds, salt and pepper near the end.  Fresh and tasty.

Fast and tasty

Also, I had left over bead thread noodles, other ingredients and dipping sauce so I made a little noodle bowl.  Stir-fry the remaining veggies in your wok with a tablespoon of olive oil.  Add the remaining sauce of your choice (I choose the sriracha sauce I made).  Lastly, add the remaining bean threads.  Combine and serve with a garnish of cilantro. 

Leftover roll makings made a mighty fine noodle dish!

I hope you try these.  They are easier than it looks.  Make it a party – let people make their own roll.  These are supposed to be fun.  Well, gotta go.  I just opened a bag of Baked Cheetos and I could have sworn I heard the pitter-patter of little squirrel feet outside my door.

In the Mood for Fast Food? Naaaaan…

Did you know that 87% of diets fail because of weekend splurges? I totally made that up, but it could be true. Seriously, the truth is this — time is the real culprit when it comes to making bad food decisions. When you’re in a midweek rush or coming in from a Friday night out, you don’t have the time or the pantry support to make something reasonably healthy. And that’s why you turn to fast food.

STOP! Don’t do it! Make a pledge with me right now: I will not order toxic waste from Krystal. I will commit to making a little extra mischief of behalf of my health.

Here’s the good news: This is easier than you think. I have a really quick meal idea that you can make in 20 minutes or less, and it’s much better for you than a late-night drive-thru: Naan-Bread Quick Pizzas.

Pronounced, "Non" like "Don" not "Nan" like "Dan"

Just to clarify, I’m not saying Non-Bread…this is not some crazy carb-less pizza. So what’s naan? It’s basically India’s ciabatta bread. It’s a flatbread, but with much more flavor. I find mine at Publix, in the deli section near the wraps. The calorie count is very reasonable, they come in packs of two, and they keep in the fridge. Plus, they have a lot more flavor than regular pre-made pizza crusts. Here’s how you do it.

Store-bought sauce is super easy. I like Paul Newman's Sockarooni.

Turn on your oven to 375. Lay out your naan, and top each with 3 big TBSP of marinara or pesto. Then, add the true star of this light, late-night anti fast-food pizza:

I just realized that nowhere does it say "Turkeyroni." Probably because that sounds stupid.

Turkey Roni. What a godsend! Like the package says, a serving has 70% less fat than pepperoni, and I swear you can’t taste the difference. A serving has 80 calories, and that involves 17 slices! It’s a wonderful little cheat!

Okay, so here’s the part where we lose a little lightness. Cheese. You don’t have to put on a ton, and you can go with part-skim mozzarella. I like to grate some fresh parmesan over the top for bite, but you can really use whatever you like. Some fresh pepper and spices are also a nice touch. Cook for 10-12 minutes, or until the cheese melts.

Here's another tip: cut the pizza in small squares...it lasts longer.

Finish with a simple salad and you have a quick, easy meal that is definitely better for you than chili cheese fries and processed meat patties. I can also give this recipe the Mischief Seal of Approval: I have made it 87 times (a few of those were late-night Fridays, if you know what I mean) and they always come out tasty and delicious. And much more healthy than a Tombstone.

That’s all for now. I know we’ve been teasing you, but Sushi Week is truly on the horizon. Now that my cuts have healed, and Matthew finally woke up from his rice coma, we are ready to share our stories. Have a wonderful weekend, and remember your pledge! Say NO to fast food, and YES to Mischief!

Crabtastrophe!

Is that a hamburger patty? Nope! A over-browned crab cake.

This week my culinary ego was knocked down a couple of notches.  Josh and I had just completed testing recipes for Sushi Week (coming soon!) and we had half a container of crab meat left.  I didn’t want this tasty meat to go to waste so I decided to make crab cakes (or in Ray’s world – “Cakes of Death”).  I watched these little decadent cakes being made on every cooking show on TV.  For the love of Pete, how hard could they be?  Well, I found out.    

As with many of our posts here on Kitchen Mischief, we may make errors or over cook something but it still taste good.  I didn’t beak the tradition in this culinary journey.  

Let me just admit something before I get started.  I don’t fry things.  You can look back on the recipes I have submitted – no frying.  I may sear or saute but never fry with oil.  I don’t like.  It is messy and smells my house up like some fried chicken joint from hell.  I run around with Febreeze for two days trying to get the smell of the house back to normal.   And as I have mentioned before, Ray is allergic to seafood (so he says) and so the exaggerated smell fried of crab wafting through the house had him wheezing like a cat with a hairball. 

I decided to prepare these cakes two ways – one by frying them in oil and the other by following the “Maryland-way” of broiling the cakes in the oven.  To make this recipe “my own”, I decided to add a little Sriracha chili sauce to the mix for a little spice.  Also, I will list the amounts of the ingredients I used but I will also give you what they SHOULD have been.  Lawd, let’s get 

Gallery of ingredients

 this crabtstrophe started. 

Crabtstrophe Crab Cakes
3/4 lb blue crab meat (mine was leftovers, use a 1 lb)
1/2 cup olive oil mayo (use 1/4 cup)
1/2 cup plain bread crumbs (use 1/4 cup)
1 egg
1 tablespoon Old Bay (use 1 1/2 teaspoons)
2 scallions, split and sliced
1 teaspoon sriracha chili sauce 

Add all ingredient to the bowl and fold in till mixed (by folding you will not break up the crab meat as much).  If mixture seems a little wet, add sprinkle more bread crumbs. Form into patties. 

Don't judge the mush!

Southern Fried Way
Add oil to a non-stick skillet, just enough to cover the bottom.  Over medium to medium-high heat, when the oil starts “shimmering”, add the crab cake.  

Frying my crab cake...with the splattering and spitting

Fry on each side for 3-4 minutes until brown. Place on paper towel to absorb extra grease and serve the sauce of your choice.      

Fried Crab Cake - why is one half covered up?...you'll find out

 Maryland Crab Cake Way
After forming your patties, pre-heat your oven’s broiler.  Place on greased oven-proof skillet or sheet pan.  Broil for 5-7 minutes on each side.  Watching for desired browning.   Serve with favorite sauce.  

Maryland-style Crab Cake - or is it fried? Looks the same.

 I came to the conclusion that the Maryland style crab cake was just as tasty and actually better for you – less fat from the grease.  It looked almost exactly like a fried crab cake.  Plus, no greasy cleanup and the house won’t smell like a Fry-Daddy. 

So why was this a Crabtstrophe?
Well, if you notice in the first pic at the top of the post – you see a complete yet overly browned crab cake.  But, in the second pic under the Southern Fried section you see only half.  Why?  I was carrying the crab cake to the plate and it split into and fell to the floor.  YUM!  Also, both the Maryland crab cake and the fried on looks exactly the same – a.k.a. – burned.  They tasted really good BUT they looked liked  hockey pucks or those retched salmon patties my mom tried to feed me as a kid.  Plus, my house still smells. 

So things happen in the kitchen that might make you reconsider your love of food; but it’s the love of the food that keeps you trying again.  So I will try again…once I watch a 100 more crab cake shows and get this grease smell out of my house.

Say Yes Ma’am to Effeminate Salsa

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I used to practice salsa discrimination. It was only butch salsas for me — tomato, onion, lime, cilantro. Maybe a little corn or black beans if I was feeling frisky. But that’s it. I was a berry bigot: no fruit allowed in my salsa.

And then one day last year, I had my first fruit salsa experience, and it changed my culinary life. It has taken some confidence, but I’m finally ready to come out of the pantry and show my fruity salsa pride.

I think what kept me away from fruity salsas was the idea of it tipping the savory balance of my meal. I’m a salt guy…and not a huge fan of sweets. But this salsa skirts the threat of sugar overload with a nice balance of heat from the jalapeño and acid from the lime. And of course my beloved cilantro adds a nice kick. Here’s what you need and how I did it.

Watermelon Mango Salsa
-1 cup of watermelon, diced
-1 ripe mango, diced
-1/8 cup red onion, tiny diced
-1 TBSP fresh jalapeño, diced
-juice of one lime
-splash of red wine vinegar
-salt and pepper

First, dice your melon and get it into the bowl. Here’s a tip: Cut atop a paper towel to catch all that sticky juice.

Next, take care of your onion, jalapeño, and cilantro. Dice these super fine so you don’t end up with fiery onion-mouth. Tip: Reserve a little of each to add at the end — these are accent flavors and can easily steal the show.

Now, the mango. This fruit is a bitch. Mangoes have this odd, irregularly shaped pit. Unlike an avocado, it’s never really in the same place, so breaking down a mango is a frustrating mess. Technically, you’re supposed to cut off the “cheeks” of the mango, then make cross-hatch slices then scoop out the cubes. Sounds crazy? It is. Watch how many times I almost cut my fingers!

Speaking of gay salsa…can you get any gayer than a video featuring cutting a mango to the tunes of Lady GaGa? LOL…I “shot” this with Droid, and David added some tunes on top. Thanks, Baby! Aren’t we “faincy” now! (Let me know if you can’t view the video…it’s been giving me fits this morning.) This mango actually cooperated…some are easier than others. All I can say is good luck.

Finish by adding your lime juice and vinegar. If your fruit isn’t really ripe and sweet, add a squirt of honey to balance the flavors. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Here’s the final tip…don’t eat this with chips. I mean, you can, but it’s best with something smoky from the grill. I did a quick marinade for chicken with cumin, chili powder, garlic, red wine vinegar, and lime. I served it with salad and grilled corn. Sort of. We actually ate it with baked sweet potatoes, but they looked nasty on camera so I got out some leftover grilled corn and took the picture with that instead. Ha! Behind the scenes with Kitchen Mischief!

Guess what? Matthew and I have a sushi-making date on Thursday. Watch out, kids! Maybe we’ll even do some video! See you soon!

Who Needs Fireworks? Just Serve Great Food!

  

Happy 4th of July fellow foodies! Sure you could celebrate the independence of our nation by having bottle rocket wars or exploding ant hills with firecrackers, but does that say Hooray!  Heck no.  You should say “I love you America!” by having a wonderful holiday feast with friends and family…and ok maybe a few fireworks.  (Just keep your pets away – poor Wally never grew back those whiskers after eating those “Jumping Jacks”.  He sure hated fireworks). 

Don’t have a plan yet for your celebratory spread?  Well, let the Mischief Crew help you out with your menu.  Plus, who needs watching the dog incinerate his facial hair with fireworks when you can read about Josh and me doing that in the kitchen?  (Poor Josh and me.  It took a long time for our eyebrows to grow back after lighting that grill.  Note to self:  Do NOT look directly into the grill when lighting). Here are a few recipe ideas that will get your creative juices flowing. 

Not my pic but it looks like mine.

 

Grilling Time!
Two schools of thought here – go easy or go all the way.  If you plan on going easy and just making burgers and hotdogs, remember to practice your burger purity.  I gave you a few tips on making your burgers taste…well, like burgers – Practice Burger Purity.  However, if you want to go all the way, plan on making Boston Butt (aka pork shoulder or pulled pork).  The key word here is plan.   In “I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie”, you can read on how to prepare your own pulled pork at home (by grill or oven) and plus you get a handy-dandy idea on what to do with leftovers!  I am actually using the Tip O’ the Day at the bottom of that post for my own festivities in Gulf Shores, AL.  I like to call it ”For the Love of Pete, Ray, Put that Firework Down or You’re Gonna Blow Your Hand Off” Celebration. 

Bring on the Sides!
This is where it gets good.  Whether you have burgers or pulled pork, you need some delicious sides to go with them.  

Grilled Corn Salad
Tired of just plan o’ corn on the cob?  Jazz it up by grilling it and making a salad with it using avocado and lime.  

Blue Cheese Potato Salad with Bacon and Scallions
Yes, I know.  Your granny makes your favorite potato salad.  But you can show granny a thing or two by making this delicious version.  I promise you won’t be disowned…it has bacon for goodness sake! Sorry, granny, bacon trumps everything. 

Photo and Potatoes By Matthew

 

Summer Slaw
You can’t have pulled pork without slaw!  Well, you can but I will give a look.  Try this easy recipe for a great twist to a classic  (I don’t have pictures so just trust me).  I don’t like slaw with tons of mayo so you will see that grating the cucumber and onion will help moisten the mixture.  Also, I add a little bit of milk to thin the mayo so I don’t have to use a lot.  

1 bag of angel-hair shredded cabbage
1 medium cucumber, grated
1/4 cup onion, grated
1/2 pint cherry tomatoes, quartered
2 scallions, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon dill weed (1/2 tablespoon fresh)
1/2 cup-ish mayo
2 tablespoons milk
Kosher salt and cracked pepper 

Empty the bag of slaw in a large bowl,  Add the grated cucumber, grated onion, tomatoes and scallions.  In a small bowl add the mayo, milk, dill, salt and pepper (use a little more salt than you think), mix to combine.  Pour the mayo mixture over the slaw and mix.  Taste for salt and pepper.   

Now it may look a little dry now, but it give it a few minutes in the fridge.  The salt needs time to draw the liquid out of the veggies.  

Top Off the Meal
Since your planning this great meal, plan on making this great dessert.  Josh has deemed it The Best Dessert Ever and I have to agree.  It’s cool, light and different from the disappointing homemade ice cream I tend to create.  

With a little proper planning you can have a great holiday worthy of our nation’s birthday.   This could be the meal to remember…better that than the year that Ray lost a finger in a firework accident.

Snake Beans Burn on the Grill!

“Fish don’t fry in the kitchen,
Beans don’t burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin’
Just to get up that hill…”

Turns out, my friends, that beans do indeed burn on the grill. That is, if they’re SNAKE BEANS and you’re fool enough to put them on it. Which I am, of course! More on Snake Beans in a minute.

Monday night’s menu plan was panzanella of sorts. I say “of sorts”  because typically a panzanella is a salad where toasted bread plays a starring role, and lettuce a bit part. As we all know, I can be a bit of a calorie freak sometimes, so in our house, a panzanella is salad that actually has croutons. It’s a rare thing in our house, like a unicorn or Sandra Bullock giving an Oscar-worthy performance.

But back to croutons, here’s a fun tip: Leftover foccacia makes fantastic croutons. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and bake at 350° for 10 minutes. Crunchy and delicious!

Blade Runner-esque shot by Yours Truly

Next step was to invite my vegetable friends to the party. Mother Nature has recently bestowed upon me the most deliciously sweet yellow tomatoes via the Pepper Place Farmers’ Market. Seriously…folks gasp when they eat them…they’re that good. Go out and get some now while they’re in season. Anyway, so those beauties were definitely on the salad list.

Little globes of heaven.

The next gift from the Farmers’ Market? Those aforementioned Snake Beans. Rattlesnake Beans, actually. Yes, Rattlesnake Beans. Why are they called Rattlesnake Beans? Because when they mature, they release a host of tiny rattlesnake babies, as they are the official vegetable surrogate endorsed by the Association of Barren Rattlesnakes. Or not. They’re named rattlesnake beans not because of their faint purple stripes (like most rattlesnakes have, of course) but because (the internet tells me) their mature pods resemble coiled snakes. Yikes. Thankfully I bought them pre-picked. H

They don't look like rattlesnakes to me!

I tossed this snakey ladies with olive oil, salt & pepper, and threw them on the grill, alongside the marinated chicken (lemon juice, balsamic, garlic, salt and pepper), and some squash.

I only lost four beans. Not bad.

OK, so I exaggerated a little…I didn’t actually burn my beans. I charred a few, and lost four to the flaming depths, but all-in-all, it worked out fine. They tasted fantastic on the salad, but were a little overcooked, so watch your time. I’m sure there’s a much better way of doing this, like with a grill basket, but I barely have enough room in my kitchen for saffron threads, much less a new utensil.

Oh, and just for fun, I threw in some purple basil I have growing in the garden. Why not?

I didn't grill the basil.

So after it was all grilled and done, I piled it all on our “salad plates” (actually salad TRAYS), topped with a balsamic-port vinaigrette, shaved parmesan, and it was bon appetit! It was really delicious. The only problem, as is the case with all my salads, is that it just didn’t look all that great. To quote the Barefoot Contessa, it looked like a dog’s breakfast.

Come and get it, Lassie!

All of my salads look like this, for two reasons. One: I chop the ingredients small for easy eating. Cause really, who wants a Rattlesnake Bean slapping them across the face? Scary. And, Two: I have a crappy camera. But if you’re eating at home and want something healthy and tasty, you can’t beat this. It has great texture, strong flavor, and freaking snake beans, man!

Kitchen Mischief has gotten a  strong case of the Summer Slackies, but we’re ramping up to give you some great recipes this summer. With produce so awesome, it would be a crime not to. Oh, and we’re tackling sushi soon…that should be some true mischief!

Holy Ravioli!

Photos by Ray Hydrick

So the title might be a little misleading, this dish is not holy in the religious sense but it may lead you to pray and thank God for dairy products.  Why am I thanking the Big Guy above for dairy, well especially butter…and brown butter to be even more specific?  Because it is sooooo good and soooo easy to make. 

A few friends came over Sunday afternoon and so I decided to make a little appetizer of wonton ravioli stuffed with summer veggies and brown-butter with dill.  Wonton ravioli you ask?  Why not.  It is made from the same flour that pasta dough is made from and the best part…it is already cut into perfect little squares. 

Culinary Wikipedia:
Brown Butter – butter that has been heated until the color of the butter changes to a nutty-brown.

Veggie line-up

Summer Veggie Ravioli with Brown-Butter and Dill
For the Ravioli:
2 medium squash, grated
1 medium zucchini, grated
1/2 cup quartered cherry tomatoes (try the heirloom)
2 fresh ears of corn, shucked and corn cut off the cob
2 scallions, sliced fine
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh dill, minced
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon of fresh ground pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 package wonton wrappers
For Brown-Butter with Dill:
4 tablespoons butter, cut into cubes
1 teaspoon dill, minced
Kosher salt and ground pepper

Start heating olive oil in a large suate’ pan.  Add corn, scallions, squash, zucchini, tomatoes and lemon.  Stir to combine.  Cook until soft, approximately 4-5 minutes.  Add dill and then salt & pepper to taste.  Put in a bowl. 

Cooking the filling

Bing a large pot of salted water to a slight boil. Place two rows of wontons on a board or cool surface.  Spoon 1 teaspoon of veggie mixture onto each wonton. 

Assembly line

Using your finger wet the edges of another wonton wrapper with water.  Place on the veggie laden wonton and carefully seal the edges, meanwhile making sure all the air is gently pressed out.

Manual labor

Place all finished ravioli on a plate an continue filling ravioli until you are out of filling or out of ravioli. 

Ravioli waiting for their boiling bath

While waiting on the water to boil, on medium heat melt the 4 tablespoons of butter in a saute’ pan.  Whisk the butter occasionally to eliminate the foam.  Carefully, watch the color of the butter deepen.  When you see brown “bits” form on the bottom of the pan and the color is a nice amber, remove from the heat.  Add the dill and a sprinkle of salt and pepper. 

Hot butter and cold dill creates alot of bubbles

Drop 5 or 6 ravioli into the boiling, salted water.  Stir slightly. 

Ghostly hand dropping ravioli (nice lighting Ray)

Cook until the ravioli start to float (approximately 2 minutes).  Remove the ravioli with a slotted spoon or spider strainer. 

Spider strainer

Place four or five on a plate and spoon over a tablespoon of brown-butter.  Enjoy.

Yes, this brown-butter is not the best for you but you are only eating 1 tablespoon of it – moderation is the key.  You will be a fan once you taste it…maybe even say a little prayer. 

Grilled Pizza Pity Party

All photos of the deformed pizzas by Ray Hydrick

Ever have the best intentions to try something new only to have your dreams disappear in a puff of flour dust? Well, welcome to my grilled pizza pity party. I thought my grilling skills would be enough for this adventure but these little floppy pieces of hell soon became my nemesis. They were not horrible…just horrible looking. I mean one looked like I had skinned a cat and used it and the other looked like Argentina.

I have pinpointed the 2 reasons for my grilling adventure’s demise:
#1 Working with Yeast – How can something so small hate me so much? Is the water to warm? Is the water to cold? Why is my yeast not bubbling? I stood and stared at the bowl like the kid waiting for his first family of Sea Monkeys to hatch. It went downhill from there.

#2 The Dough Recipe – I remembered seeing Gordan Ramsay make a really thin crust pizza on his BBC America show called “The F Word”. I looked it up to try it. Problem, I don’t know the metric system very well so let’s just say I used all my knowledge to convert to cups. I don’t have a .1478 measuring cup.

Rather than give you the recipe I used, I provided you the original link to his…good luck!

Making the Dough
Step 1 – Proofing the Yeast Demons

The recipe said to add two teaspoons (1 packet) of yeast to a bowl and add 1 cup

This packet contains pure evil

(or is it 1.1478 cups?) of luke warm water (110 degrees) and let sit for 3 minutes. Now that is my issue, I was feeling the water and trying to remember every hot tub I have been in being around 110 degrees. I think I was a little off or my little yeasties like it really hot.

Step 2 – Mixing the dough

Add 2 cups (or is 2 to the 4th power?) to a food processor with 1 tablespoon of olive oil. While mixing the flour and oil together slowly add the water/yeast mixture until it forms a ball and pulls from the sides. Let me warn you – when it pulls away STOP pouring the liquid…it’s enough. Well, I decided all the yeast should join the party and ended up with goo. I had to add another 1/4 cup flour to the bowl to bring the dough back together.

Step 3 – Rise!

Place the dough in a greased bowl for about an hour or until it doubles in size. Make sure it is a warm part of the kicthen.  During this time get your pizza ingredients ready.

Step 4 – Stretch it

Good luck on this one. I rolled, stretched and it ended up looking deformed and sad. Only advice I can give you is use flour on your board and hands. This stuff is sticky. Place on the back of a cookie sheet. Why the back? There are no sides so it will help you when sliding it on the grill.

For the love, this dough hated me.

Grilling the Pizzas
Step 1 – Pre-pare your grill

Pre-heat your grill to medium heat – if you have a thermometer on your grill, I would say around 375 to 400 degrees. Make sure your grates are clean. You will need to use some cooking spray or a paper towel with vegetable oil on it to lube the grates to prevent sticking.

TIP: Have your ingredients ready to go – you don’t have much time once the grilling starts. Also, having grilling tongs and a big spatula ready.

Step 2 – Let the Grilling Begin!

Add one of your, hopefully better looking than mine, pizza crusts to the well oiled grate. It won’t fall through. Close the lid. Wait a 1 and 1/2 minutes. Look at the bottom, you are looking for a nice light brown color. If not, check it often until it reaches that color. Using tongs and spatula – flip the dough.  At this point you need to add the ingredients as fast as possible.

Looks like I skinned a cat (Sorry cat lovers)

We made a classic Margarita pizza which consists of olive oil (I added a drop or two of truffle oil, yum), sliced Roma tomatoes and mozzarella cheese.  Basil is added before serving to prevent wilting. We also made a simple Rustica, which consist of a spicy red sauce, capers, olives and some kind of spicy Italian meat.

I was throwing those tomato slices like I was dealing cards.

After adding ingredients, close the lid and wait 2 minutes. Check the crust, it should be golden brown and the cheese is somewhat melted. To remove from grill slide back on your cookie sheet. Cut as desired.

If you have the same aversion to yeast and making dough like I do, try asking your local mega mart if they have fresh dough. Publix sells bags of pizza dough…just needs an hour to rise. Hopefully your pizzas will look better and taste just as good. So don’t cry for my Argentina-Pizza…it tasted just fine.

Seriously, it either looks like Argentina or the chili from the Chili's logo

The Things I’ll Do for an Avocado…

Photos by Droid

I’m not a fan of cold soup—at all. Gazpacho? It’s just watery salsa. Vichyssoise? I had to check the dictionary to spell it. Despite my usual liberal culinary leanings, I’m a virtual Tea Bagger when it comes to soup. If it ain’t hot—I ain’t interested.

But then my friend Jennifer sent me a link to a recipe for Avocado Bisque. I was immediately intrigued—she had me at avocado. Although I wasn’t thrilled about eating something at a temperature that wouldn’t have gotten me out of school—I decided to give it a try. Not only did I have two very ripe avocados at home, but I was due for some Kitchen Mischief. (Note: I have just decided that Bisque should be spelled like Risqué, and pronounced “Bis-kayyy!” Just fyi.)

The recipe seemed a little questionably inspired (it suggested combining chipotle powder and dried rosemary…I was like, “What the what??”) so I of course took matters into my own paws.  However, I did keep the proportions intact. This is an important point. I’ll explain…

First, I added a quarter cup of lime juice to the blender, as instructed. Then I added two very ripe avocados. The recipe called for a TBSP of oil, some miso, rosemary, and chipotle powder. And that’s all. I was like, “What kind of damn ex-hippie wrote this recipe?” Asian-Italian-Mexican Avocado bisque (bis-kayy!)? Oh, geez. So I decided to depart the flavor path of my stoned vegetarian brother and stick to one regional cuisine: Mexican. To the mix, I added about a half cup of sliced scallions, a quarter cup of chopped cilantro, 2 TBSP of sour cream, and a splash of chicken stock. Then I hit the mix button.

I think the hippie got confused and posted his recipe for Fusion Guacamole. Granted, I added a bit more greenery, but there’s no way his recipe yielded a bisque (bis-kayy!). More like guacamole pudding. Thus the Mischief began. I blended, whirred, mixed, and grinded, adding chicken stock until the blender yielded me something remotely bisque-esque. It was pretty much an entire carton of stock.

But it turned out pretty good. I garnished with some yellow bell pepper, cilantro, scallion, and chili powder. I told David it was probably one of my prettier plates! Would I do it again? Hmmm…maybe, for the right occasion. If you’re into strange things, like wearing socks with Birkenstocks, taking a bath with your clothes on, or eating cold soup, you’d probably love it!

I served my Avocado Bisque (Bis-kayyy!) alongside a grilled Mexican-spiced chicken breast atop another Mischief creation, Quinoa Vegetable Salad. It was supposed to be its own Kitchen Mischief post, but I had several altercations during the cooking process, including having to strain it through cheesecloth. Don’t ask…it was a micro-disaster. It ended up tasting good, but I have some work to do before I can share a recipe for that one!

That’s it for today. Work has been crazy, so my Mischief has suffered. But I really had a great time playing in the kitchen and experimenting with these “recipes.” Take a minute during this long weekend and make some Mischief yourself…just be wary of hippies advocating chipotle-rosemary alchemy. Cause everything tastes good when you’re…you know.

The Whole Meal on the Grill

All photos by Ray Hydrick

This past year on Kitchen Mischief we have shown you some great recipes on the grill.  You could literally make an entire meal outside.  Let’s see we showed you how we made kabobs, Greek flank steak, pulled pork, and roasted corn salad…but what about dessert?  I think we get stuck in the notion that the grill is only used for savory foods, that is so not the truth.   

Let me show you a really quick dish that you can certainly make elements ahead of time for a really elegant dessert.  I made Grilled Pears with Maple Cinnamon Cream with Walnuts.    

Mischief Tip #1:  When grilling fruit, it is wise to use a firm fruit, such as apples,  pears (not the soft ones), peaches, pineapple, and plums.   

Scooping out the core

The softer the fruit, the more it will disintegrate when heat is applied.    

 

Mischief Tip #2: To remove the core of the pear or apple, use a mellonballer, or in my case a metal measuring spoon, to scoop out the middle of the fruit.

Mischief Tip #3: To toast walnuts or  

Toasted walnuts

most nuts, place the nuts in a dry saute’ pan and put over medium-high heat, stir often and remove when you can smell them cooking.

Pears with Maple Cinnamon Cream with Walnuts (serves 4)
2 pears (I used firm red pears)
2 tablespoons walnuts, chopped and toasted
1/4 cup cream cheese, softened
4 teaspoons maple syrup (you can use honey, but it won’t be maple)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest (1/4 of a lemon)
pinch of nutmeg
pinch of kosher salt
(I didn’t add vanilla because I forgot, but a 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla would be tasty)
1 tablespoon turbinado sugar or brown sugar
Non-stick cooking spray

Combine cream cheese, maple syrup, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, lemon zest, half the walnuts and vanilla (if you don’t forget) in a small bowl.  Be sure to taste it, need more maple? Add a little more.  Need more cinnamon?  Add a little more.  You get the picture. Place in the fridge until needed.  

Mixing with my little baby whisk

When ready to serve, heat the grill (or grill pan) to high heat (medium-high for grill pan).  Cut the pears in half and core out the seeds.  Spritz the pears with the cooking spray.  Also, spray the grill with the non-stick spray to reduce sticking.  Place the pears on the grill and cook for 5 minutes or until somewhat soft to touch.   

Flip the pears and sprinkle liberally with turbinado or brown sugar.  Close the grill and let the sugar melt.   

Sprinkled with sugar

Remove from the grill.  Top each pear an equal amount of maple cream.  Top with remaining walnuts.   

Topped with cream and walnuts

Need Another Idea?
Grill the pears but add maple ice cream to them.  Or grill peaches and add vanilla ice cream.  Yum!  

You don’t need to be stuck inside to make a dessert, bring it outside to the grill.  It’s easy and can be healthy.  Hopefully, Kitchen Mischief has helped you get ready for grill season.  Enjoy!